We never knew that being handicapable includes the ability to steal a car and lead the cops on a three-county chase. But that's exactly what Shamal Battice, a Florida man paralyzed from the waist down, did yesterday.
According to police, Battice went to a Ford dealership in Ocala, Fla. and asked a salesman to see something fast. The salesman showed Battice to a Pontiac G6. Battice wanted to feel the seats. The salesman obliged. Battice wanted to sit in the seats. The salesman obliged. Battice locked the car, put the keys in the ignition, used a folding cane on the gas pedal, and sped off. The salesman probably stood still, shocked like Hank Schrader on the toilet.
Battice then eluded the cops through three counties. When he crossed from Marion County into Alachua, the cops from the latter county over the chase. They then gave up when Battice crossed into Bradford County. Eventually Bradford cops found Battice filling up at a gas station and apprehended him. They probably never expected to fill out that police report.