Happy New Year, and if you've already broken your New Year's Resolution, then shame on you. Hopefully your favorite athletes have been pondering what they can improve on in 2014, and will stay committed to that change. At Complex Sports, however, we can't help but wonder what goes on in the mind of say, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Derek Jeter, and Robert Griffin III as they face 2014 head-on. What are they thinking of doing to get better? Each year brings challenges new and old to the forefront, and professional athletes have plenty to deal with. Read on to see what our expert guesses were for 2014 Resolutions For Your Favorite Athletes.
Stop F*cking Writing Letters From Jail
Become An Avid Robotics Enthusiast
Forgo the NFL Draft and Join the Air Force
Hold Up, Hold My Phone, and Don't Give It Back To Me
I'm the Only One Preventing the World From Truly Loving My Club, So Maybe I Should Fix That
Fully Transition Into Being Baseball's George Clooney
No New Friends, Unless It Involves Dumping the Old Ones First
Come to Terms With the Fact That I Haven't Accomplished Anything Yet, So I Should Stop Acting Like I Have
I Should Use My Powers For Good, Not Evil
Start Getting Arrested, Or Anything to Get Some Attention
Go to a Leadership Retreat
Learn to Love People and Use Things, and Not the Other Way Around
Accept That It's Time to Just Walk Away
Realize That I'm Teflon Once Again, But Don't Do Anything to Screw That Up (Again)
Get to Know Swaggy P
Athlete: Kobe Bryant
The key to Kobe Bryant getting back to the top of his game isn't his dogged training, German stem cell treatments, or a specialized designed, but currently vacant case for his sixth championship ring. No, it's Nick Young. Swaggy P. The Iggy Azalea Slayer. Pau Gasol's new BFF:
Pau 3 and Swaggy celebration https://t.co/jxrpO7VVq7
— Lakers Nation (@LakersNation) December 21, 2013
The moment Bryant signed that two-year/$48 million contract extension, he knew he was signing away any hopes of making a title run before Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook hits free agency in 2015. So maybe, for the first time in his career, we'll see a new side of Kobe. Kobe Evolved. Swaggy K. Maybe Kobe will put the mask on. Young's fun-loving, swash-buckling, hot-shooting nature has rubbed off on the Lakers, who would probably be a No. 3 seed in the Eastern Conference despite giving Ryan Kelly minutes at power forward. This is an exciting basketball team to watch, because for once, the Lakers are a team of misfit toys (rather than a gang of overpaid and overrated veterans). There aren't any expectations! When Bryant comes back from his latest injury, he should cool off the "I'm always going for a title" rhetoric, embrace Young as the son he never had, and treat games as H-O-R-S-E matches versus Swaggy P all while going for Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's scoring record.