One team is 5-13 and is finally using the positive karma the basketball gods have bestowed upon them after its nine-game losing streak to blowout teams during its two-game winning streak, beginning of a quest to claim vengeance on all who wronged it in the past...or something like that. One team is 6-14, claiming victory over one of the few teams that's worse than it is. And again, one team is just out here trying to get a win. They're all off to rough starts early in this basketball season. But only one can be The Worst Basketball Team in New York Today.

CANDIDATE NO. 1: THE KNICKS

The two teams the Knicks faced in its two-game winning streak (their longest of the season) have a combined record of 12-27, so that's an obvious point a detractor can poke at. But a fan can take solace in how New York is at least showing it's far better than both of these teams. After beating the Nets by 30 points, the Knicks destroyed the Magic by 38 points. Everybody came to ball in the 121-83 rout; just five Knicks players scored under 10 points. The game wasn't without casualties though. Just look at how Carmelo Anthony gets stuffed during a dunk (again) by Victor Oladipo. Hold your head up, fam.

CANDIDATE NO. 2: THE NETS

The Nets showed in their 113-83 loss to the Knicks that they were one of the worst teams in the Eastern Conference, which is almost synonymous with being one of the worst teams in the league. But at least it's not the worst. That title belongs to Milwaukee, the team Brooklyn beat last night. The Nets won 90-82, but the margin of victory isn't convincing enough to say Brooklyn finally got its shit together. After all, a big reason why it won was because of Brook Lopez's great performance, in which he shot 11-of-13 from the field for 32 points. A win is a win though, and for now, the slander will have to wait.

CANDIDATE NO. 3: MARIST COLLEGE


Combine the number of wins the Nets and Knicks have combined and you get Marist's record. Make sure you times that number by zero too, because that step is crucial. Marist is still searching for its first win nine games into the season after its latest one at home against Manhattan, 70-59. This is the type of result you get when your field goal percentage is in the 30s, like it has been in four of the past five games.

THE WORST TEAM IN NEW YORK TODAY IS... 

Marist College. Because the Nets and the Knicks actually won this season. They're also actually better than something. The Red Foxes are at the bottom of the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference, and that zero on the win column becomes bigger with each passing game. That Red Fox logo also gradually looks sadder. D'awww.