Gallery: Ranking Every NBA Mascot

A 37-way tie for last.

Not Available Lead
Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

Not Available Lead

As a kid you pulled their tails. Now, as an adult, you avoid eye contact with them. Mascot ranks amongst the bottom of the societal hierarchy along with pornstars and guys who writes about mascots. We kid! They've become commonplace, a con you have to put up with to catch a game in-person. Los Angeles fans you're lucky you've never had to encounter a failed actor dressed up like an idiot to entertain children and annoy everybody else.

There's nothing worse than going to a game, chatting up some babe only to have a gigantic stuffed animal hit you with bunny ears on the Jumbotron and then play a game of charades where you have absolutely no freakin' clue what he wants you to do. You try to show everyone you can play along, but through clenched teeth you're like "Okay...thank you. Get the hell out of here." And he just sits there doing something stupid while people laugh. You didn't pay 100 bucks to be center stage at the Improv with some dumbass who gets cheered for dunking with a trampoline and have to wonder whether this "man" pesters more people than he fires up.

As of this moment only a half dozen teams go to war without a cartoon character in team gear. We rounded up nearly every goofball (okay, so there's no Sacramento Gorilla or Duncan the Dragon. We're sure you're crushed) and rated them from worst to less worse. Here are 37 NBA Mascots ranked.

37. Stuff the Magic Dragon

Not Available Interstitial

36. Hip Hop

Not Available Interstitial

35. Rufus D. Lynx

Not Available Interstitial

34. Burnie

Not Available Interstitial

33. Mavs Man

Not Available Interstitial

32. Moon Dog

Not Available Interstitial

31. Whammer

Not Available Interstitial

30. Bowser

Not Available Interstitial

29. Sir Slam A Lot

Not Available Interstitial

28. BrooklyKnight

Not Available Interstitial

27. Champ

Not Available Interstitial

26. G-Wiz

Not Available Interstitial

25. Boomer

Not Available Interstitial

24. Sir CC

Not Available Interstitial

23. Lucky the Leprechaun

Not Available Interstitial

22. The Raptor

Not Available Interstitial

21. Sly the Silver Fox

Not Available Interstitial

20. G-Man

Not Available Interstitial

19. Skyhawk

Not Available Interstitial

18. Hooper

Not Available Interstitial

17. Thunder

Not Available Interstitial

16. Crunch the Wolf

Not Available Interstitial

15. Blaze the Trail Cat

Not Available Interstitial

14. The Coyote

Not Available Interstitial

13. Harry the Hawk

Not Available Interstitial

12. Wheedle

Not Available Interstitial

11. Grizz

Not Available Interstitial

10. Slamson the Lion

Not Available Interstitial

9. Rumble the Bison

Not Available Interstitial

8. Clutch the Bear

Not Available Interstitial

7. Rocky the Mountain Lion

Not Available Interstitial

6. Hugo the Hornet

Not Available Interstitial

5. Bango the Buck

Not Available Interstitial

4. Benny the Bull

Not Available Interstitial

3. Squatch

Not Available Interstitial

2. Jazz Bear

Not Available Interstitial

1. Go the Gorilla

Not Available Interstitial

Latest in Sports