Your hormones were raging but you had no idea what the hell they even were. All you knew is you got a funny feeling when Sable (and for some reason Triple H) came out of that tunnel. When she did Playboy your pants exploded. And when she married Brock Lesnar your heart sank. No woman will ever match your first crush but it's nothing a "used" copy on eBay and some scissors couldn't fix. Your wife won't understand, but something so complicated and romantic is nigh-impossible to comprehend. Also, you don't have a wife so who gives a fuck?