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The 20 Biggest Jackasses in Sports Today Image via Getty Images/Rob Tringali

Melky Cabrera

Sport: Baseball

Certain crimes you simply take the heat for. If you're going 20 MPH over the speed limit, you should get a ticket and accept it. That's how we feel about steroids. You took the risk because you're not good enough to play without them, and you got caught. There's an appeals process, and that's fair game, but accept the fact that you're a cheating turd, because somewhere, deep down, you know it's true. Melky Cabrera was popped in 2012 in a precursor to the Biogenesis PED scandal. At the time, Cabrera was fulfilling an apparent requirement that whomever plays LF for the San Francisco Giants has to be riding bikes. 

But one of Melky's "associates" (whatever that means) established a phony website for 10 grand in order to give Cabrera grounds for an appeal. Within, like, five minutes the MLB figured it out and traced it back to Cabrera. Melky's All-Star season was derailed (after he won the game's MVP), his chance at a batting title was eradicated, and his team won the World Series without him.

Then in the off-season Melky got a two-year/16 million dollar contract from the Toronto Blue Jays. It was far less than he was expected to get in the midst of his 2012 contract season, but still far more than anybody you know will ever make. Karma is a bitch? No, not at all.

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