10 Guilty Pleasure Cars

Image via Complex Original

We're normally annoyed by the existence of pseudo-SUVs that are incapable of anything resembling off-roading, but the funky Juke is on our good side. Why? It's just straight up weird (like us), and it's a design that nobody saw coming (but one that everybody is now trying to compete with). Also, we managed to get a nice drift going around a roundabout in an AWD model.

My father, a bone fide rock star, described the Fiero as "a Lotus for people with no taste," and he might be onto something there. It's cheesy, and the quality is infamous, but we can't hate anything mid-engined. It's really that simple.

The Porsche Cayenne is one of the auto enthusiast community's favorite targets. It's the vehicle that represents Porsche's departure from strictly motorsport-derived cars and, in the eyes of the faithful, diluted the brand quite a bit. Here's the catch though,: it's brilliant, and if you ask us, no vehicle that won the Transsyberia Rally can be counted as a departure from motorsport-based vehicles.

The Dodge Neon SRT-4 is the fastest, most precise piece of crap that you can buy for the least amount of money. It was rated at 230 horsepower, but the 5.3 second 0-60 time belies it's actual power figure, which is closer to 270 horses. We really, really appreciate the performance of this little car, but we can't deny that it's kinda trashy. It's not a car that you'll ever look like a gentleman driving, but it is great fun.

First things first, we're not talking about the New Beetle here. The old-school Beetle was slow, liked to roll over, and goes through oil at an astounding rate. Let's face it, if it's not a Baja, it's kinda lame, it's very hippyish, and, worst of all, it was commissioned by Hitler. Despite all of that, we do have a soft spot for the weird little bulbous VeeDubs.

It's a Firebird, so it's obviously somewhat appropriate for said phoenix to be emblazoned upon the hood of the car. Although it was in Smokey the Bandit and sounds pretty awesome, the reality is that the so called "Screaming Chicken" Firebirds scream "I have a mullet and drink nothing but Bud Light and Mountain Dew" louder than any other car. Maybe the Indiana upbrining is showing through with our love of this car. 

It's big (for a mini), looks bloated, and became the mediocre rally car that the regular hard top should have been. By all accounts, we should hate it just like everybody else. However, in S or JCW trim, it's reasonably quick, doesn't look like anything else on the road, and is just straight-up fun to drive. We tried to hate you, Countryman, but we can't.

Here's a vehicle for people who breed too much and have given up entirely on having any fun behind the wheel of a car ever again. But at the same time, it has a certain swagger inherent in its Mini-made-a-fucking-bus styling. Just look at that X-Men bar across the front. 

Oh, and it has a refrigerator, and that's cool.

The four-speed slushbox: Awful.
The minivan engine: Awful.
The giant black plastic bumper: Awful.
The styling: Embarassingly cheesy.

The result: a car that we can't help but give a second look to every time it drives by. We're always tempted to get one, deal with the inherent cheese-factor, and swap out that terrible drivetrain for something cool.

Yes, it is as ugly as sin. The Pontiac Aztek is so ugly the ugly stick itself refused to beat it. It's horrifying.

But it can crap a tent, and we like that. Simple as that.