Gallery: The Worst Personalized Jerseys in Sports History

Image via Complex Original

Things we would rather think about than these two old people having sex: everything. Literally everything.

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Alright, using 69 as your jersey number is about a billion times creepier when it looks like you aren't wearing any pants. You have to consider it an upset if this guy didn't get arrested before the end of the game.

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Word of advice here: If you ever want to stitch up two jerseys together, try and make sure that the end result doesn't suggest genitalia in any way. Just our two cents.

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Alright, this is just sad. Adding a couple duct tape letters or a number to a jersey is one thing, but going over the whole shirt in skinny-ass electrical tape is absolutely pathetic. Either stick with the original, or scrounge up some cash and buy a new one, man.

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Yo, we all know that absolutely no one aside from yourself refers to you as, "Mr. Awesome." There's nothing lamer than coming up with your own nickname.

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Dude, every girl in the arena is impressed when you wear a jersey that says how girthy you are. No, no, they definitely don't think you're a douchebag. You're fine, trust us.

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There are just way too many things going on here. We have the Angels "A," a couple money signs, the "assholes" joke, and Pujols' contract numbers. Pick one, maybe two, but never all of them. This looks like it was designed by a third grader with ADD.

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If there is a God, he should make this guy dust for wearing something like this.

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This is just baffling. You're a Cubs fan. In Chicago. So you put Brett Favre on your custom Cubs jersey?? What's your angle here, dude?

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In retrospect, this guy was actually kind of smart not to buy a Jeremy Lin jersey so quickly, given that he left for Houston the next season. But maybe he should've stayed out of the whole Linsanity craze altogether if this was all that he was going to come up with.

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We would've found this funny in sixth grade, but as a grown man? Not so much. Bet you're a hit at the playgrounds.

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As if the NHL didn't have enough of a problem with racial diversity, we've got this guy over here referring to Philadelphia Flyers right winger, Wayne Simmonds as, "The Black Guy." This guy is all class.

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This guy probably felt like he had figured out a cure for cancer when he realized that "blow job" and "Blue Jays" have the same initials. Yeah, you're a genius. Totally.

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Hey, super-weird old dude, we really don't want to think about your strange sexual fetishes while we're trying to watch a football game. Could you please just keep those sorts of things to yourself from now on? Thanks.

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We're going to choose to pass on this one. Kind of a no-brainer, actually.

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This woman needs to re-evaluate her friendships in life, because they have all drastically failed her by letting her wear this out in public.

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We get that this is a reference to the whole Michael Vick/Ron Mexico deal, but when you walk around wearing a shirt that just says, "Herpes" on the back, people won't be thinking of Michael Vick. They'll be thinking of you, having herpes. Does that sound like a good idea?

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That's a cup that none of us want to hoist.

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Fact: This is actually Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, wearing a No. 6 and a No. 9 jersey together. Fact: When Justin Bieber is getting in on the 69 joke, we're all officially too old to still be making it.

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This thing should be burned.

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You're coming on a little strong with that one, buddy. Actually, make that really, really strong.

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There's being indecisive and then there's being this guy. A combination of five different players' names, this jersey is the Frankenstein of personalized clothing. It's a monster, and it must be stopped.

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Savvy to choose two of the most despised players in the NHL to put on your jersey. You might as well have just slapped a big, red bullseye on there instead.  

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Hey, man, you look adorable in that jersey. Really cute, y'know? We mean, that's what you were going for, right? Honestly, though, you sort've have to feel bad for this guy. Not only is he wearing a jersey that says "Stud-Muffin" on the back, but he's also a Bengals fan. No one should have to endure being the butt of that many jokes.

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Putting "Palin" on the back of a sports jersey never works unless it's on Glen Rice's Michigan uniform. Otherwise, FOH with that nonsense. 

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"Dude! Yes! Fingerbang! That's totally awesome, bro!" --said no one, ever.

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