11 Thoughts That Go Through Your Head When You're Pulled Over

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We've all thought about it. It's one of those switch-to-dream-state moments in movies. Where you tilt your head a little bit, and all of a sudden you're in a huge car chase like the one you just had in Grand Theft Auto earlier that day. But this will never, ever be a good decision. Because, unless you're a professional stunt driver or race car driver with a sick car, you ain't gonna get out alive. You're going straight to the slammer for a lonnnng time.

Some people act like this just to try to get sympathy or to create the illusion that there was no intention to break the law. 99.8872681 percent of the time, that's just a facade. You know what you did. Or maybe you're just one of those people who think, "I do this every day, and they've never pulled me over before!" That doesn't meant hey made an amendment to the law, you dummy. There is the slight occasion, however, that there was a speed trap, and you honestly didn't know that the speed limit had dropped from 65 to 45 within a stretch of 10 feet, leaving you a sitting duck. That's when, as soon as the cop leaves your window, you blast some N.W.A. on your way home. 

It's probably the reason you're pulled over right now. You were rushing to get to something that you were supposed to be at 10 minutes ago, and you were pushing 85 in a 55. This is one of the worst situations, as you're already running late and panicking, the person is going to be even more angry at you now, AND you're getting a ticket, which will be a hefty fine and possible points off your license. And if you're a kid trying to get back for curfew, this isn't going to help with your argument that you're responsible enough to stay the night at your girlfriend's house.

The last time you had your registration out was ... uhh, well ... probably the last time you got pulled over. Or when you got it. Or did you get it? Do you have it? Where the hell is that damn thing? It doesn't turn out well, if your response to "License and registration, please" is "I can't find it?"

Quick! Now is the time for your quick-thinking skills to shine! Hopefully you didn't smoke the weed before driving, because 1. That's stupid in the first place and 2. Now you're going to be slower than ever. And no, the glovebox, where you'll have to go for your registration, is not a good hiding place. Neither is your pocket.

You think you can drive home. You think you're fine. But the honest truth is that you know you probably shouldn't be behind the wheel. You weren't following the one drink per hour rule, nor were you altering each drink with a cup of water. You were taking tequila shots from some incredible shot glass with a shark on it, because, in your world, shark week is every week. And don't try to stuff 6 Life Savers mints in your mouth, it doesn't help. 

Yes. Yes he will.

Let's not pretend racial profiling doesn't occur. Especially when it comes to African Americans getting pulled over—studies show that up to 80% of stops made by the NYPD are blacks and Latinos. Furthermore, 85% of those pulled over are frisked. Need more proof that they're looking for a reason to lock you up? We don't think so.

There are a select few situations that have been used over and over and over again in porn flicks. One, of course, is the pizza scene. But another often-used person is a policeman or woman. You know, people love the authority. People love the handcuffs. People love the outfit. And taking it off ... 

"Okay, this is my first time getting pulled over. Maybe I can say I'm from out of town, visiting and not familiar with the area and the limits. Or maybe I could try to flirt with him. Or maybe I could cry. Jimmy does have an uncle who is a cop. Maybe he can get me out of it. Maybe I threaten to have a really good lawyer. Maybe Steve at Dunkin Donuts will help me get him a discount." People will go to any length to get out of a ticket.