Sport: Golf
Team: N/A
Hateful lowlight: Humiliating his family with an enormous cheating scandal

It's hard to blame Tiger for cheating on his wife and humiliating his family on such an epic scale. He was throttled since birth by an overbearing father and became a transcendent athlete in his early 20s. Many of you clowns reading this piece, if put in a similar situation, would have a harem of bottle service hostesses and reality show castoffs, too. But when you're texting women about "golden showers" and telling porn stars you want to "choke" them, you've officially lost. A Stanford graduate should be more understanding of the risks involved in putting that kind of freaky shit in writing, especially when you have a wife, $500M, and two young children.