25 Things Contemporary Sports Haters Say

"LeBron James wouldn't dominate in the NBA's Golden Era!"

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Image via Complex Original
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We all know people who are sports haters. They're the folks who are so miserable with their own lives that they can't stand to watch others unite behind a common cause, like a team. So they sit at the sports bar or man cave and troll for a reaction. And sports fans—who are often peaking on civic pride and Miller Lite—are more than willing to oblige them. If the quotes in this story sound like you, you're probably annoying everyone in your living room with the 25 Things Sports Haters Say. 

Written by Sean Evans (@seanseaevans)

"LeBron would not dominate the NBA's 'Golden Era'"

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"[Insert successful player] is probably on steroids."

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"LOL! Look at LeBron's hairline!"

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"Professional athletes dress like jackasses."

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"Today's NBA is too soft."

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Anything Piers Morgan says about Arsenal's management, at any level.

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"Nice dunk (or crossover), but that was a travel."

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"The Yankees just buy their championships."

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"Kobe's a ballhog and only holds the Lakers back."

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"The NFL will fold if they can't resolve their concussion problem."

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"Floyd Mayweather, Jr. is scared of Manny Pacquiao/Manny Pacquiao is scared of Mayweather."

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"Auto racing (or golf) is not a real sport."

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"Baseball is boring."

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"SMH. Ryan Lochte is such a dumb douchebag."

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"Tim Tebow won more playoff games for the Broncos than Peyton Manning did."

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"Women's [insert sport] is too slow and boring."

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The championship game notwithstanding, this year's NCAA Men's Tournament was one giant scoring drought with air-ball jumper and sloppy turnover accents. Brittney Griner might not stand a chance against Kentucky's Nerlens Noel in the post, but at least she makes the occasional free throw. 

Without Danica Patrick, NASCAR loses a lot of its buzz. Some diehards won't want to hear it, but if that sport has to depend on the personalities of Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Jimmie Johnson to build hype, it's doomed. Similarly, the greatest athletic drama of last summer came from gymnast Gabby Douglas and sprinter Allyson Felix. Oh, and don't get us started on US Women's Soccer's relative greatness compared to the men.

"I'd take [insert scrub] over Dwight Howard."

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"Eli Manning is not an elite quarterback."

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"Roger Goodell is ruining football."

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"Boxing is dead."

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"Yeah, but Messi still hasn't won a World Cup."

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The never ending race hypotheticals.

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"If [insert league] has another lockout, they'll lose their fans."

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"Derrick Rose needs to finish #TheReturn already!"

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"If I were as tall as him, I'd be in the NBA."

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