Written by Angel Diaz (@ADiaz456)
“Experts” and pundits have been writing the Knicks off all year. Now they’re all eating crow. After starting 18-5, stumbling a bit, and ending the year with a 16-2 run, Los Knickerbockers de Nueva York are coming into the playoffs hot. If the Knicks exercise their demons and beat the Celtics, they’re guaranteed to reach the Eastern Conference Finals. And there’s a 99.9 percent chance that the James’ gang will be waiting for them. The formula to beat the Heat hasn’t been perfected but they've been exposed before. One of the keys is to make LeBron into a scorer. He’s at his best when he facilitates on top of everything else he does. Another key is to not turn the ball over, and guess what? The Knicks don’t turn the ball over. We (yes, we) average 11.6 turnovers per game, good for No. 1 in the league. Miami will blow you out if you give them the ball, scoring 18.6 PPG off turnovers. And lastly, the Heat are different when you push them around. The Mavs proved it in 2011, the Celtics did it while taking them seven last year, and New York, Chicago, and Indiana proved it this season.
It’s a BIG if and easier said than done, but IF we’re able to do those things and continue to cook offensively, Miami will go down. I could give two shits who we face next because they don’t stand a chance. If the Knicks make it to the Finals they will win, and when they do, I will do some wild shit. First, I would run through the streets with my shirt off screaming obscenities and pissing on cop cars. No BULLSHIT. Second, I would cry because the pain of being a Knicks fan is a pain only a Mets fan can feel. Third, I would make sure to do any and everything in Mase’s “24 Hours to Live” because the world is sure to end. Then, I would walk into the Complex offices and retire on the spot. Yes. Retire. Why? Because, why not? What else is left to accomplish? The Knicks would have won a championship. What do I look like living in the Matrix? Fuck that.
I’ll do what this dude did. He knows what life is about, man. I would move to Mexico or some other spanish-speaking country and build an island out of plastic bottles, grow a pot farm, plant some vegetables, and live off the land. Just live. I’ll leave everything behind except for a 2012-2013 Knicks Season in Review DVD and my brand new subscription to Sports Illustrated. And while I’m on this man-made paradise off the coast of *enter spanish-speaking country here*, I’ll make ends meet by selling the weed I don’t smoke and by pulling juxes on unsuspecting gringo tourists. My island will be named Woody Island and my first-born son’s middle name will be Carmelo. Angel Carmelo Diaz. I like the sound of that. Who cares if it’s another cliche Puerto Rican name? My future wife won’t mind because she’ll be busy collecting cans so we could afford to eat street tacos for dinner.
That’s it. That’ll be my life if ‘Melo and the boys handle business. The Knicks haven’t won the Atlantic Division and haven’t been a second seed since 1994—a year that ended in a Finals appearance. Coincidence? I think not. Miami’s lucky Rasheed retired. We’re really going to miss his attitude, his fouls, his Air Forces, his "Ball Don't Lie" slogan, and his threes to the dome. I truly believe that we’re the only team in the league that can bang with them because Carmelo. LeBron is 7-10 versus Anthony during the regular season, but 4-1 in the playoffs. That playoff record is going to even out this year, you can put the house on that. In the word of the immortal Bernie Mac, “We ain’t scared of you motherfuckers.”