Cost: $100,000

We understand the need to stunt harder than anyone in the VH1 parking lot, but there's nothing cool about swagger jacking truckers. Chad Johnson pays six-figures too look like Patrick Swayze in Black Dog, which only adds another 'L' to his loathsome '12-'13 fall off. Unless that thing morphs into Optimus Prime, then it's just a gaudy big rig that gets four miles per gallon.