The 15 Weirdest Car Ads on Craigslist Right Now

Image via Complex Original

Location: Decatur, IL
Price: Accepting offers

It reads like a normal car ad, until the seller gets clever at the end with "Hamsters not included." We kinda like the cheeky looks of the Soul, and especially appreciate how easily customized these little boxes are -- but no hamsters? Way to crush our hopes and dreams, seller.

Location: Boondocks (near Kirksville, MO)
Price: $3,750

"the words STORM CHASER on the sides comes right off they are only stickers. we have a meterologist in the family and this is his idea of cool!" If you know that nobody would actually want this on the car, and if it comes off so easily, then why in the world did you leave it on for the picture? The last part of that sentence clearly indicates that this is NOT cool. If we're going to be buying a storm-chaser vehicle, it better be like the truck in Twister with that giant machine and those tiny little sensors. We believe the name was Dorothy?

Location: Des Moines, IA
Price: $2000 obo

Ad header is actually Beware of the 2004 chevy impala. At first, it seems like this poster is trying to do a public service: "Seller is real shady, hiding lots of damage to car including pictures of smashed front end, and mileage (320,000 miles)." But then, underneath, the poster either completely reposts the sketchy ad, or else is trying to sell their own Impala. "04 silver Chevy impala for sale in very good condishion $2,000 obo if interested feel free to text me at 515 -868-9461 -si hablo Spanish." Here's where contextual clues like grammar might help. As you're reading this, you know that we've quoted the ad directly because we used quotation marks. The ad itself? Not so much.

Location: Muskegon, MI
Price: $1

While we sympathize with the poster, we're pretty sure that this actually belongs on PassiveAggressiveNotes.com. "As a person who shops Craigslist frequently I am very sick and tired of dumb ass's who do not put a phone number in their ad. If you expect to sell something, make it possible for a buyer to contact you. Hopefully this will put some common sense into some very dumb people. Sincerely, a pissed off buyer." We're impressed with his skills of using a computer while sitting so high up on a horse. 

Location: Detroit, MI (Eastside)
Price: $6,500

We know Easter just passed, but are those 28" rims made out of candy? Maybe We'll see Riff Raff in this in his next music video. 

Location: Cortland, IL
Price: $700

We'll let the ad's text speak for itself: "1996 VW CONVERTABLE WITH BAD TRANSMISSION AND BROKEN FRONT,PASS SIDE AND REAR WINDOWS THANKS TO SOME KIDS I LATER CAUGHT. HAS ABOUT 130,000 MILES AUTO CAN NOT BE DRIVEN CAUSE OF THE TRANS AND BROKEN WINSHIELS SO U HAVE TO HAUL IT AWAY CAN DELIVER IT FOR AN EXTRA PRICE, IF U WANT A COUPLE PICS OF IT TEXT ME YOUR CELL NUMBER TO 1 EIGHT ONE FIVE FIVE NINE THREE 09 SIX NINE AFTER 10 AM AND BEFORE 10 PM THANKS OR IM GOING TO JUNK IT HAVE TITLE GOOD TIRES"

What did this guy do with those kids once he caught them? Is that why he's looking to sell this car in such a hurry? We're pretty sure that he could get more than $700 for intact parts on this Mk III Dub...

Location: South Haven, IN
Price: $700

The seller would like to assure you that this car has NO TITLE, as is mentioned 6 times throughout the ad. It's being sold as a parts car, and potential buyers are advised that "IF YOU WANT A PICE BUY THE HOLE THING." Also, "IF YOUR CHEAP STUPID OR FROM ILLINOIS DONT CALL." We know there's a rivalry between those states, but sheesh. 

Location: Rockford, IL
Price: $1

This was one of those ads that we just couldn't resist looking into. The text read, "If your looking for a great affordable good on gas cheap car call (815) two4three-7 nine9nine thanks" There are no photos. So, we gave him a call to find out some more information. It turns out the guy rents apartments, and some of his tenants have had some bad luck lately, so he's holding their cars as collateral. He was holding a Ford Escort with 112,000 miles and a Chevrolet Cavalier with 160,000 for 30 days, before he was given the green light to sell 'em. Sorry, pal, but we don't think you're going to really get much cash out of those. Best of luck, though!

Location: Muskegon, MI
Price: None listed

This listing has several photos, so you'd expect that maybe it's a dealer, right? False. The text of the ad sounds like a really sketchy private party. Most stuff sold on CL is a one-time deal: A buyer shows up and brings cash or a cashier's check and goes home with a car. Here's the text of this ad: "CALL ME TODAY!!! ALL YOU WILL NEED TO BRING IS THE FOLLOWING: 1. DRIVERS LICENSE 2. PIEACE OF MAIL 3. CURRENT PAY STUB OF PROOF OF INCOME CALL STEVEN TO SETUP APPT" How how we don't and say we did?

Location: Mankato, MN
Price: $1,500

Unfortunately, this Neon (with a blown head gasket) costs about three times as much as it should to compete in the 24 Hours of LeMons. The seller says it's very fast when it's running, and maybe it is, but photos are what sell cars, especially online. Just saying.

Location: East bound and down, Champaign-Urbana, IL
Price: None listed

Seller calls this a "96 honda civic/ford zombie explorer." Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria. And zombies.

Location: Charleston, MO
Price: No price; trades only

Subaru 360s aren't that common to begin with, but this seller has amassed three of them. "I have 3 subaru 360's that I am willing to trade for just about anything. Just email me what you would like to trade and I will let you know." If you're willing to take a chance, you too can own the single most useless car in all of Gran Turismo 5. (Seriously, buy one in the game and mod it however you like. It's still terrible.) Or just trying to offer a trade for three boxes of Velveeta shells and cheese and that binder of holographic Pokemon cards you still secretly keep in your closet. 

Location: Southeast MO
Price: $4,500

Besides custom metal flake paint and a custom interior, this low-rider Tracker has 10-way hydraulics. Our question is this: Why put all this effort and cash into a Tracker, which was never a good car to begin with?

Location: Knoxville, TN
Price: $15,000

"I had over 40,000 in this project before it caught fire." Also, "dont try to lowball me because shell is burned I have already lowered price for that it will only cost 4500 for brand new interior and body.. the whole car is already hinged hood,trunk doors,batwings, just needs new body and interior.." We're speechless. And yes, those were the actual sizes of the images provided. SO DETAILED. 

Location: Bowling Green, KY
Price: $4,000

Know where this car wouldn't look out of place? At a circus. There's custom, and then there's "WTF am I looking at???"