It's one thing to be disturbed on the subway by some kids trying to sell us expired fruit snacks or some hobo playing drums on the metal poles (we expect this), but when Mr. I-don't-know-how-to-talk-at-a-normal-level wakes us up from our necessary 30-minute train slumber, we've got a problem. They sound like moms trying to figure out how a cell phone works. Please, please, please, stop pounding on our eardrums with your overbearing racket.