When: Early to mid 2000s

There is no question as to the quality, skill, and overall it factor that Cristiano Ronaldo posses on the pitch. He has the pace of a gazelle, the control of a surgeon, and a free-kick technique that makes goalkeepers around the world tense up just watching his highlights. But homie, what the hell are you thinking when you get dressed sometimes? Bell-bottoms? Those short-shorts make normal short-shorts look like pants. We could go for days but we're just going to chalk it up to it being a Euro thing. Good Lord though, where does one keep a wallet, cell phone, and/or keys? Oh wait, that's what the murse is for.