10 Things That Will Happen When the Lakers' Season Implodes

Bill Simmons orgasms to death.

The Grantland founder and "Book of Basketball" author has never made his Celtics fanhood a secret - in fact, he's never made anything a secret, which is why a simple mailbag column tends to run to 250,000 words. If anyone would revel in the downfall of the Lakers it's Simmons, whose next major purchase will likely be Curt Schilling's bloody sock and an economy-sized bottle of Lubriderm.

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