8. On Dwight Howard "Looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane."
Dwight Howard and Skip Bayless are jackass kin. Jackasses in arms, if you will. But in this argument, it's Bayless who wears the crown. When Howard boldly proclaims that he's in better shape then Skip Bayless, Bayless responds with, "at least I don't look like Tarzan and sometimes play like Jane." Zing! You're right, Skip. You don't look like Tarzan. You look like a formaldehyde infused, dehydrated Bette Midler.
Look, clowning Dwight Howard doesn't make you a jackass. If it did, we'd be top of the jackass food chain. But don't clown a guy's game when you averaged 1.6 PPG as a high school senior or act like a hard ass for "going toe-to-toe" with a jacked-up seven footer via satellite.