If you want to be universally loved, forget a career in broadcasting. You can't compliment a team without necessarily dissing their opponent. If you give props to a player, the opposing fan base will accuse you of being a slurping groupie. You can't win.

We love to hate commentators because, well, we're insanely jealous. We're twice as talented as Jeff Van Gundy and would do his job at half the price. Since we'll never get a shot, we're content to scream at him from a hand-me-down couch in a studio apartment.