The 25 Most Ratchet Automotive News Stories

Image via Complex Original

A Woman Stuffed Her Nephew in the Trunk so he Wouldn't Get Her Leather Seats Wet

What's more important: A Lexus or a human life?

Axe Wielding Scotsman Murders Ferrari

What an unlikely way to have your car totaled. 

Massachusetts Woman Blames GPS After Driving on Golf Course and Crashing into Sand Trap

Some people treat the voice coming out of the GPS like commands from God.

Man Intentionally Crashed His Chevy Into GM's Headquarters

After he accidentally chipped the window he assumed that he would go to prison (obviously a few cards short of a deck... or even a hand), and decided to have some fun with it by doing as much damage as he could.

Judge Lets a Convict Off Easy on Probation Charges, So He Breaks Into Her Car

Perhaps he liked prison's free rent, food, and gym membership too much.

Indiana DMV Has Issued a "Goatse" License Plate

All we have to say is: if you don't know what "goatse" is, don't search for it. We mean it.

Carjcaker Can't Drive Stick, Gets a Ride From Car Owner

Your mom told you not to pick up hitch-hikers because they might be armed criminals. This guy picked up a guy on the road after he proved himself to be an armed criminal.

College Student Drives Off a Cliff While Texting a Prophecy

If you're going to text about how dangerous texting and driving is, don't do it while driving.

Idiot Tries to Impress Football Recruiters, Gets Hit By Car

If your plan to get a nice big football scholarship involves broken legs and life-threatening injuries, you're doing it wrong.

Old Man Shoots Unmanned Cop Car Five Times

If Obi Wan Kenobi had survived to be a deranged drunk, this is what he would look like.

10-Year-Old Steals Van and Crashes Into Five Cars in Philadelphia

He wasn't old enough to drive legally, but legality clearly just isn't a concern for this kid. 

Idiot Alert: Man Steals Gas From Cops, Posts Photo to Facebook

Policework is getting easier and easier.

Dog Gets Hit by a Car and Causes Three Car Crash and Fire in China

Amazing, the dog survived and simply trotted off, appearing to be OK.

Moron Arrested for Posting Video of Himself Firing a Gun from a Car on YouTube

There's no way to plead innocent on this one.

Man Arrested for Masturbating Naked in His Car With Toy Gun Up His Butt

Whatever floats your boat, unless it's this.

This 5th Grader Keeps Stealing Cars

The kids aren't all right. Seriously though, there are some parents out there who need to keep a closer eye on their little demon.

South African Teacher Crammed 19 Kids Into Her Subcompact To Go Get Burgers

In South Africa, endangering the lives of a literal pile of children leads to nothing more than a $160 fine.

Shirtless Douche Gets Trapped in BMW He Broke Into

We love that the owner knew how to get his car to trap this would be thief, and that he stood there taking pictures while holding a sledgehammer.

Watch a Girl Crash Her Boyfriend's Car Into a Bowling Alley After He Broke Up With Her on Facebook

This is not how to handle bad news. Bonus: the guy's name is Davy Jones.

Naked Guy Rams A Truck Into a Mall So He Can Steal Clothes

Umm... we're not sure what happened to all of this guy's clothing, or why he thought that this was the best way to go about getting more, but that's what happened.

Mother Leaves Kids After Car Crash To Get Naked and Eat Ice Cream in CVS

EMERGENCY CRASH CHECKLIST:

1. Ensure that nobody is bleeding.


2. Get naked.


3. Eat ice cream


4. ???

Philadelphia Cab Driver Caught Taking Poop on Public Sidewalk

This is ridiculous. A ferret would have at least backed into a corner first.

Indiana Man Drives Drunk With Four Children Strapped to His Hood

And you thought it was bad when Romney strapped a dog to the roof of his car.

Crazy Guy Takes PCP, Gets Naked, Attempts Grand Theft Auto, Poops in Police Car, and Eats Own Finger

This is why PCP is a really, really bad idea.

Chinese Audi Dealer Displays Banner that Reads "All Japanese Must be Exterminated"

This is the response to a small territory dispute over a couple of uninhabited islands. Audi, not surprisingly, was not too happy about this.