Stern’s Response to Stan Van Gundy vs. Godells “Personal Conduct Policy” 

Match-up: After a suspension of Dwight Howard, Magic coach Stan Van Gundy implied parallels between David Stern and tyrant leaders like Egypt's Hosni Mubarak and Libya's Muammar Gaddafi. Stern, thinking he was Al Capone, responded "I would render a guess...that we won't be hearing from him for the rest of the season." 

The NFL's Personal Conduct Policy states that, "The League is committed to promoting and encouraging lawful conduct and to providing a safe and professional workplace for its employees." It's been used to suspend players like Chris Henry, Pacman Jones and Brandon Marshall for off-the-field transgressions.

Winner: David Stern

David Stern is 70 years old and has a meek appearance, but acts like a g'd out made man with some of his Sternisms. He once said in a meeting with the NBPA he defended his record by saying he knows "where the bodies are buried." Whoa, man? You realize you're a rich corporate talking head, right? Not a numbers runner in the Cleveland projects.