Does This Mean We Can't Go Out for Ice Cream?

Date: May 2009

Location: Kirkland, Washington

Baseball moms are the best. They're always there with Capri Suns, tangerine slices, and—if need be—to commit a fourth degree assault on a sixth grader. A 41-year-old woman was arrested for allegedly grabbing a twelve-year-old on the opposing team by the mouth, calling him "white trash," and telling him to "shut his fucking mouth" in front of a crowded field of horrified onlookers. According to a witness, "The mother was passionate and took matters into her own hands." We'll say.