In one of the most scrunch-face-incuding stories that we've heard this year, a man from Florida was arrested for masturbating naked while driving with a toy gun up his backside. A tow truck driver noticed Robert Casey, 49, when he pulled up next to Casey and saw him moving his hand around in his groin area. It took Casey, who was driving a Jeep Cherokee, a while to stop when he was pulled over, because he had to put his clothes back on. When the cops patted him down, they found the toy gun, which was tied to his his leg and his junk, with a portion hidden by his butt. Yeah, fuckin' gross, we know. 

[via Jalopnik]