The SEC Cheerleader Showdown

Image via Complex Original

Even the Wildcats' basketball squad hasn't won as many titles as their 18-time championship cheerleaders (don't even ask about the football team), but we're not comparing or keeping a tally; it just happens. We're interested in competitive cheerleading, too, and we won't hide it anymore. Yes, Netflix, ship Bring it On.

The Vanderbilt Commodores may have gone through some tough seasons: they haven't won a conference championship since 1923 and they've only competed in four bowl games (and, yikes! Jay Cutler used to play for them). It's okay, it means we don't have to pretend to care more about the team than we care about the cheerleaders.

Ah, the college team of the man you love (or hate with a passion), Peyton Manning. He was the starting quarterback for the Volunteers for four years until he was drafted by the NFL. Enough about a guy who can throw well. Let's discuss girls who are thrown up into the air and do flips for the home team, the visiting team, whoever cares to watch (and who doesn't?).

One hundred and twenty-four Mississippi State Bulldogs have gone on to the NFL. We could rattle off more fun facts about the 'Dogs or we could just inform you that the mascot Bully and the girls are available for private parties and will travel. This is not a joke.

While the Rebels are busy attacking people over a ball, we're actually screaming, "Ole Miss!" which roughly translates to "Go, lady!" to the cheerleaders' high kicks. Sorry, just after memorizing the school chant "Who the hell are we, hey! Flim flam, bim bam. Ole Miss by damn!" we're a bit less poetic.

We'll admit it, we can't focus at a South Carolina game at all. We're sure they're fantastic players with very intelligent plays. But hot girls in Spandex yelling "Go Cocks!" is going to make us snap our heads and pay very close attention to their next cheer.

There's a spirit hanging over all the home football games at the University of Georgia. We could be talking about all the past bulldog mascots named Uga that are buried inside the football stadium. Seriously. Or, we could be talking about the fighting spirit the gorgeous cheerleaders bring out, rooting their team to victory.

What's the best thing the Florida Gators have given man? Tim Tebow? Emmitt Smith? Gatorade? Despite having to constantly replenish our electrolytes, we're going to have to go with their cheerleaders.

Maybe it's because their team's ranked in total defense or that their sequins just bring out their best attributes, but the Alabama cheerleaders have a radiance that's difficult to look away from. The girls even have a trophy to show for their eye-grabbing appeal: the 2011 College Cheerleading and Dance Team National Championship.

If you're wondering where the Auburn tradition of the battle cry "War Eagle" came from, we're here to repeat the totally crackpot story of how it happened. A Civil War veteran nursed an injured eagle back to health, and on the the day of the first Auburn football game, he released it to help inspire the crowd. Auburn won the game, but the eagle got plum tuckered out flying around the damn stadium all day, and fell to earth and died (eagle was pushing 30, what the hell was that dude thinking?). Football traditions are weird, can we just look at the pretty girls now?

The Razorbacks are one of the best football teams in the country (No. 9 in our latest rankings), but they play in the same conference and division as both 'Bama and LSU, so they've got redheaded stepchild status this year. Thankfully they've got these beautiful ladies to cheer them up, the only women on the face of the earth that will smile back at you when you yell "Wooo pig sooey" at 'em.

Well, it seems that LSU has the best leverage when it comes to coming out on top. Not only does their football team have the talent to maintain the No. 1 spot, but their sports bra-filling cheerleading team makes other spirit squads look like the cast of Toddlers in Tiaras. We'd even dare to show up to a game in the visiting team's colors just to be their "tiger bait."