In Arizona, what feels like twin suns bake your skin into leather, bleach your hair into a pale reflection of its former self, and poach your brain into... well... this. Something must be effecting this man's head to make him act this way. How can he not have gotten a DUI. While his closing line is magical, I think the best part is the gaggle of people who can't keep it together behind this genius of storytelling.

The good stuff starts at about 1:40.

[via Jalopnik]