Like a Boss: A History of David Stern's Most Gully Moments

Image via Complex Original

DATE: 6/18/1985
COMPLEX SAYS: In the first-ever NBA Draft Lottery, the league implemented the envelope drawing system where all non-playoff teams from the previous season had an envelope in a drum which the commissioner would pick from. The first envelope selected would receive the first selection in the draft. Skeptics say that from the 45- to 50-second mark of this video, David Stern sought out the bent corner of Knicks envelope in order to assure New York (the team with the biggest market) the No. 1 pick. The Knicks would later use that pick on Hall of Famer Patrick Ewing. No tough talking from Stern here, real Gs move in silence...

DATE: 2003
COMPLEX SAYS: Prior to the '03 postseason, David Stern and the league decided to extend the first-round of the playoffs from a best-of-5 series to best-of-7. This change benefited higher-seeded teams by decreasing the likelihood of upsets. More importantly though, it would result in more games and an increase in revenue for the NBA. Gimme the loot!

DATE: 6/22/2005
COMPLEX SAYS: As a result of the new collective bargaining agreement, players agreed to an increase in the draft entry age limit from 18 to 19 (plus one year removed from high school). Stern had been pressing for the new age limit for years despite the fact that some of the NBA's biggest stars such as Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Amare Stoudemir'e had entered the league directly out of high school. Some media members and players including Greg Anthony and Jermaine O'Neal opposed the rule change and cited racism as a possible motive. Stern reasoned that the new limit would give players a chance to increase their skills, maturity, and put an emphasis on education. Homie took 'em to school! Literally.

DATE: 10/17/2005
COMPLEX SAYS: At the beginning of the season, Stern implemented a dress code which required players to wear business attire (a suit or sports coat) when inactive on the bench during games, arriving or departing arenas, and while attending any other events sanctioned by the league. The rule also specifically banned attire associated with hip-hop culture such as throwback jerseys, jeans, Timberlands, do-rags, and gaudy jewelry. Many critics have said that the rule was an overreaction the Malice in the Palace brawl from the prior season. We think Jim Jones said it best: "Long johns and some jeans, fuck a button-up shirt!"

DATE: 2006
COMPLEX SAYS: The Mavericks owner's public criticism of the league and its referees had been documented for years but reached a boiling point after Game 5 of the 2006 NBA Finals. After the Mavs loss, Cuban reportedly turned to Stern and league officials yelling "Fuck you! Fuck you! Your league is rigged!" A report which Cuban later denied. However, that didn't stop Stern from slapping Cuban with a $250,000 fine. Since becoming an owner in 2000, Cuban has been fined for over $1.75 million. *Bumps Stern's soundtrack*

DATE: 6/11/2008
COMPLEX SAYS: Former-NBA referee Tim Donaghy damaged the league's reputation when he was sentenced to 15 months for gambling on games in which he officiated and affected the point spread of. Afterward, he alleged that fixing games was a widespread and league enforced problem. Stern responded to these accusations by labeling the convicted felon a "singing, cooperating witness." Damn, we didn't know Stern was up on the "Stop Snitchin'" movement!

DATE: 2008
COMPLEX SAYS: We all know that sports commissioners hold weight but the ability to pick team presidents and move entire franchises? Yup. When the Knicks hired Donnie Walsh as team president in 2008, it's said that Stern's strong urging of the hire played a key role. Only months later, when the Seattle SuperSonics franchise was purchased and relocated to Oklahoma, Stern was again at the forefront of the movement, going as far having the league take action against a legal attempt by former owner Howard Schultz to keep the team from moving. SMH, no one man should have all that power...

DATE: 2/19/2011
COMPLEX SAYS: Prior to this year's All-Star game, Stern, Players Association executive director Billy Hunter, and the league's elite ballers held a meeting. The discussion turned heated when the subject turned to labor talks, prompting a livid Stern to ramble about all that he's done for the league as a commissioner and the various labor battles he's fought through. Stern capped his argument by telling the room he knows where “the bodies are buried” in the NBA, witnesses recounted, because he had buried some of them himself. Wait, what?! Sounds like some shit straight out of Goodfellas. Yeah, we're definitely done saying anything negative about this dude.

DATE: 3/11/2011
COMPLEX SAYS: The Orlando Magic coach refused to publicly criticize the league's suspension of Dwight Howard, but Stan Van Gundy made headlines by implying a comparison of Stern to tyrants of the world like Egypt's Hosni Mubarak and Libya's Muammar Gaddafi. Stern kept his response G-rated by simply saying, "I would render a guess...that we won't be hearing from him for the rest of the season." The gulliest commissioner in pro sports? No doubt, son.