As Dirty Tackle reports, more than 3000 people crowded around their computers yesterday to watch Chad Ochocinco make his MLS "debut" in a reserve game match for the Sporting Kansas City team. And about 99.9999999 percent of them walked away thinking the same thing: I should've spent the last hour watching that Teen Mom 2 fight instead of that bullshit! But for those keeping score at home, Ocho says that although he failed as a soccer player, he succeeded in knocking another thing off his bucket list. "Just to be out here was enough for me," he said after the match. "I can die tomorrow and be satisfied. I can go to heaven and tell God 'Man, I played professional soccer and I'm good.'" Just as long as he meant good meaning satisfied and not good meaning, well, good, we're happy for him. Now, please: Get the $^%& off the pitch, Chad! [via Dirty Tackle]