Complex NFL Pick 'Em: Week 9 Predictions

Our football-lovin' editors make their predictions for the weekend games.

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The NFL season hits the halfway point as the Kitna and the Cowboys' shit show visit Lambeau on Sunday, while the Steelers take on T.Ocho and 'nem in Cincy on Monday night. Keep reading as seven editors predict the outcomes of the aforementioned games, as well as the ones involving their favorite teams. In descending order by record, here are the editors' Week 9 picks...

nygbannerNAME: Joe La Puma, senior editorial strategist (16-5)

4 P.M.) NEW YORK GIANTS @ SEATTLE: "GIANTS, 21-10. Oh, Paul Scheer doesn't care about the Giants? He should, they're the hottest team in the NFL right now. More of the same hard-nosed football this week in Seattle. "
SNF) DALLAS @ GREEN BAY: "Green Bay, 28-14. As long as Wade Phillips is still the coach, Dallas will suck. "
MNF) PITTSBURGH @ CINCINNATI: "Pittsburgh, 10-7. Big Ben rebounds after last weeks loss. "

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billsNAME: Jason Sfetko, assistant art director (15-9)

1 P.M.) CHICAGO @ BUFFALO (in Toronto!): "Chicago, 35-23. Bills are winless in Toronto and stay that way."
SNF) DALLAS @ GREEN BAY: "Green Bay, 42-17. Do they even need to play this one?"
MNF) PITTSBURGH @ CINCINNATI: "Pittsburgh, 24-21. I like Cincy, just don't think they'll be able to hang the whole game."

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coltsNAME: Peter Rubin, executive editor (14-7)

4 P.M.) INDIANAPOLIS @ PHILADELPHIA: "Indianapolis, 31-28. Man, I'm shook. I know I shouldn't say that, but Vick x McCoy x Eagles D x DeSean Jackson back? BRRRRRAPPPP, [police and thieves in a] shootout! Thankfully, if anyone's built to contain/chase down VIck, it's the cops Freeney and Mathis."
SNF) DALLAS @ GREEN BAY: "Green Bay, 31-17. Oh, Dallas, what a tremendous fucking fail art thou. Jon Kitna might just think The Rapture's here when he sees HGH Jesus bearing down on him in the form of Clay Matthews."
MNF) PITTSBURGH @ CINCINNATI: "Cincinnati, 14-10. You heard it here first. Roethliscockberger tries to go deep but pulls up limp before he can connect with a ripe Hiney. I mean Hines. Meanwhile, Couture Club (T.O. and Ochocinco) each reel one in. And no one who doesn't have a nasal Midwestern twang cares."

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nygbannerNAME: Justin Monroe, senior staff writer (13-8)

4 P.M.) NEW YORK GIANTS @ SEATTLE: "Giants, 31-14. The G-Men are notoriously bad following a bye week, but Seattle is notoriously bad following Saturdays. If 'Moby' Hasselbeck had any hair left to lose, it would be falling out right now as he imagines the many times New York's pass rush will run the play 'Rectal Probe #8' on his ass."
SNF) DALLAS @ GREEN BAY: "Green Bay, 34-21. Not to be insensitive or anything, but the only 'Lambeau Leap' Cowboys QB Jon Kitna is executing is the one where he mercifully puts himself and his team out of its misery atop the stadium. Too harsh? Fuck off, I'm a Giants fan."
MNF) PITTSBURGH @ CINCINNATI: "Pittsburgh, 24-7. You know that Troy Polamalu Head & Shoulders commercial where his already luxurious locks get thicker and thicker? It's a metaphor for the erection that he plans to pound shaky Bengals QB Carson Palmer with."

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redskinsNAME: Donnie Kwak, senior deputy editor (13-10)

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MNF) PITTSBURGH @ CINCINNATI: "Pittsburgh, 24-21. The Bungles are back. I look forward to watching Polamalu and Ryan Clark put some serious hurt on The T.Ocho Show."

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raidersNAME: Jack Erwin, senior editor (12-13)

4 P.M.) KANSAS CITY @ OAKLAND: "Oakland, 28-10. Clearly I'm no good at this prediction shit because I had the Raiders winning by 45 last week and they only beat the Seahawks by 30. As the kids would say 'THAT'S A FUCKING FAIL!' I'm tempering my point-spread expectations this week, but do I think Oakland can win its first meaningful November game in eight years? I do. I really, really do.*continues to repeat to self mantra-like*"
SNF) DALLAS @ GREEN BAY: "Green Bay, 31-10. Yikes! Ice Bowl? How about the Lice Bowl? Mice Bowl? The friggin' Mike Tice Bowl? Anything's better than this. When does NBC get to start opting out of these clunker matchups? Think I might have to start watching this Simpsons show folks are raving about."
MNF) PITTSBURGH @ CINCINNATI: "Pittsburgh, 27-21. Another one that looked like a good game when the schedule was announced. Still might have a little oomph; not as much with Ochocinco playing like Unoquatro."

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49ersNAME: Gina Batlle, assistant photo editor (10-13)

SNF) DALLAS @ GREEN BAY: "Green Bay, 27-14. The Packers could be on a roll after beating the Jets."
MNF) PITTSBURGH @ CINCINNATI: "Pittsburgh, 24-10. Ocho Cinco and T.O should worry about Polamalu and his million dollar hair ."

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