1. Randolph Childress
Victim: Jeff McInnis
In 30 years, when Randolph Childress is a small, wrinkled old man with a nicely trimmed goatee, he'll be able to pull out his 18G smartphone and show this clip of him dropping Jeff McInnis—then pointing at him, motioning for him to get up, and calmly nailing a three-pointer—during the 1995 ACC title game. And when he asks what you were doing at 22, you'll look down at the floor in shame and mutter, "Well, I had this Tumblr page called 'RappersEatingSmores.'" You'll feel like the saddest husk of flesh in the world.