7. Derrick Rose
Victim: Andre Miller
Chris Paul and Rajon Rondo handle the rock with the deft touch of a magician, but Derrick Rose is more like a skilled butcher. With absurdly fast twitch muscles, he moves with sharp, cutting angles, which are enough to carve up Andre "Epitome of Mediocrity" Miller like a butchered Berkshire sow. After the Richard Pryor doppelganger flops onto his backside like a drunk girl trying to skateboard down a flight of stairs, the cackling of Stacey King makes the moment even more precious. We've heard that somewhere before...