The Race Card: Ozzie Guillen's Rant, NFL Neo-Nazis, & More

The Race Card: Ozzie Guillen's Rant, NFL Neo-Nazis, & More


In last week's edition of the Race Card, our resident race-baiters discussed Ochocinco's dating preference and Michael Beasley's weed habit. This week Whitey Ford and Dark Man X argue about racial favoritism in MLB, Chicago Bears' Brian Urlacher being called a neo-Nazi, and Brett Favre's supposed retirement (again). That tension in the air can only mean one thing: It's time to get this (verbal) race war started! Read on for more...

ISSUE: Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen says MLB favors Asian players over Latinos by offering privileges such as translators for one group but not the other.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: I say we solve this problem and take away interpreters from all MLB players—these foreigners profiting off of America's pastime should learn a little thing called... Eng·lish!

DARK MAN X SAYS: Ozzie's been known to suffer from a chronic case of logorrhea, but he may have a point with this one.

COMPLEX SAYS: Between him and Yeezy, Chi-Town representers are never afraid to say what's on their minds.

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ISSUE: Last weekend, one of ESPN's NASCAR announcers asked a black pit crew member to do "a little tap dance" during the race's rain delay. (story)

DARK MAN X SAYS: Fans waving Confederate flags, no drivers that look like us, and shit like this. Still wondering why we don't fuck with NASCAR?

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Once again, your people are being overly sensitive. He wouldn't have even been there if it wasn't for NASCAR's Drive for Diversity nonsense.

COMPLEX SAYS: We're trying to figure out what was worse: The fact that he asked or that homie actually did a jig for 'em? Ughck! (c) Pusha T

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pacman

ISSUE: Bengals cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones claims he's been harassed by police on numerous occasions since moving to Cincinnati. (story)

WHITEY FORD SAYS: So, the same thug who's been given a gazillion chances by the league is now trying to play the victim? Right, and we're sure "police harassment" was responsible for the Bengals leading the league in player arrests, too.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Wow, breaking news: Rich black person gets messed with by the police.

COMPLEX SAYS: Our advice to Pacman: STFU and get that Bengals paper while you can.

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ISSUE: Fox News' Glenn Beck apologized for calling Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher a neo-Nazi. Urlacher said he didn't take offense to the joke and that Beck was just "being funny." (story)

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Look at how the Jew-run media is trying to pit two of our great white leaders against one another. But NOPE, that strategy only works with the darkies.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Who asked this douche to talk about sports? That's right...nobody.

COMPLEX SAYS: Well, it looks like Rush now has an ownership partner for his all-white football squad.

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ISSUE: Brett Favre has reportedly told the Vikings that he is retiring. This would be his third retirement in as many years.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Not this shit again... Favre just stick to redneck activities like hunting armadillo in your Wrangler jeans. Tavaris Jackson, it's your time, homie!

WHITEY FORD SAYS: *choking up* I mean... *stammering* ...well, you know *bursts into tears* (muffled) Sorry, I just can't...

COMPLEX SAYS: Lord Jesus, let this story be true. Please.

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Tags: brett-favre, brian-urlacher, glenn-beck, nascar, ozzie-guillen, the-race-card
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