Going for Gold: A History of Olympic Debauchery

Going for Gold: A History of Olympic Debauchery


The Olympics = Peace and unity through international sporting competition. Fuck outta here! The games are really just a set-up for big orgies, drinking parties, and all types of other fuckery. There's thousands of athletes in their prime from all over the world ready to get wasted and possibly swap bodily fluids after the months and years of treacherous training. Can't forget officials and coaches looking to get a quick buck or piece of ass either.

So in honor of all the shenanigans probably occurring behind the scenes of this year's 2010 Vancouver Games, we've taken a look back at some truly Olympian feats of self-indulgence...

bobsled2

TAMPERING WITH BOBSLEDS
WHEN: 1948 Winter Olympics, St. Moritz, Switzerland
FUCKERY: The night before the bobsled competition, unknown vandals sabotaged American bobsleds by unscrewing the bolts used for steering. Tragedy was avoided though, since it was discovered before the race. The U.S. team went on to win the medal count for bobsleigh events that year.

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Jiminy-Tickets

HE DON'T GOT IT FOR CHEAP
WHEN: 1988 Winter Olympics, Calgary, Canada
FUCKERY: Olympic ticket manager, James "Jiminy Tickets" McGregor, scammed Americans into using U.S. currency when paying face value for tickets to that year's games. McGregor pocketed the difference between the Canadian and U.S. dollar, but caught fraud charges later on and was sentenced to five years. We're guessing the nickname didn't serve him well in the pen. On second thought, it was probably part of his sentence.

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menshockey

FUCK YO COUCH
WHEN: 1998 Winter Olympics, Nagano, Japan
FUCKERY: After being eliminated by the Czech Republic, anonymous members of the men's U.S. hockey team trashed their hotel rooms, racking up $1,000 worth of damage. Like Denzel in Training Day Americans obviously believe they're winning any motherfuckin' way. They can't lose.

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OlympicCondoms

STAY STRAPPED
WHEN: 2000 Summer Olympics, Sydney, Australia
FUCKERY: After supplying that year's athletes with 70,000 condoms, the International Olympics Committee was forced to order 20,000 more when the initial supply ran out. 90,000 condoms ÷ 10,000 athletes = a lot of orgies and trizzies. Choo! Choo!

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Marco-Buechel

NO ENGLISH? NO PROBLEM
WHEN: 2002 Winter Olympics, Salt Lake City, Utah
FUCKERY: Before the 2002 games, the Olympic Committee provided an Internet service to allow athletes to contact one another. Swiss alpine skier, Marco Buechel, used the service as a hook-up line to get at a Greek Ski racer who didn't speak much English. After meeting in person at the games, Buechel described the encounter. "We tried to talk, which wasn't very successful," Buechel said. "And then we started to drink, which was much more successful. It was very beautiful international incident."

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Skeleton-Coach

FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME
WHEN: 2006 Winter Olympics, Torino, Italy
FUCKERY: U.S. women's skeleton coach,Tim Nardiello was fired after allegations of sexual misconduct from numerous team members. These claims included lewd language, inappropriate touching and failed kiss attempts. Nardiello was reinstated but fired again when officials found out he had been coaching the team during his ban. We don't condone sexual harassment, but what would you do if your female co-workers wore spandex body suits everyday?

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Bode-Miller

OBEY YOUR THIRST
WHEN: 2006 Winter Olympics, Torino, Italy
FUCKERY: Less than a month before the 2006 games, U.S. Olympic skier Bode Miller admitted he had skied before while he was drunk. This piece of video evidence, leads us to believe the drinking continued through the 2006 games.

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Tags: 2010-vancouver-olympics, bode-miller, olympic-debauchery, sports
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