With the exciting and totally-destined-to-last marriage of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom happening this Sunday, we here at Complex were saddened over Odom's...let's call it "questionable life choice." Lamar, you got a big new championship ring and a whopping new contract, so what, now you're just trying to supersize everything? Khloe's a lovely person, but you damn sure well know you're taking the L with this one.
Only time (and a potential reality show spin-off?) will tell whether this blessed union will last decades, or simply 'til the playoffs start, but we thought it only fair to present you with a look back to see how other...let's call them "imbalanced romantic commitments" have fared. Scroll on through our 7 Most Lopsided Marriages to see what the hell the rest of these lovebirds were thinking when they said "I do."
COUPLE: Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 16 months so far
WHY IT FAILED: Technically this marriage hasn't failed yet. But we've heard "Bagpipes Over Baghdad" and seen the videos, so let's be honest, wasn't it doomed the minute Nick decided it was a good idea toeunuch himselfget a ginormous "MARIAH" tattoo across his back?
COUPLE: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 2 years, 1 month.
WHY IT FAILED: Who woulda thunk a multigazillionaire pop star would tire of a backup dancer's overzealous sperm and fluctuating weight? Sorry, Brit. Glad the crazy pills are helping get you back on track after this train wreck of a marriage. Alleged. Alleged crazy pills.
COUPLE: Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 20 years and still going strong!
WHY IT FAILED: Look, Ric Ocasek is a talented musician, but it's been scientifically proven that he's at least 40% Crypt Keeper. At least his fidelity is guaranteed!
COUPLE: Drew Barrymore and Tom Green
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 5 months, 10 days
WHY IT FAILED: We liked Drew better once she lost the ol' ball and chain. Too soon?
COUPLE: Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa (and Cris Judd)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 11 months with Ojani. 9 months with Cris.
WHY THEY FAILED: Obviously, both these marriages failed because neither the busboy or the weirdly infantile choreographer has the looks or charm of Marc Anthony. Duh.
COUPLE: Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 3 years
WHY IT FAILED: Nobody wants to marry a grandpa, but we hear his brain is awesome, though.
COUPLE: Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall II
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 13 months
WHY IT FAILED: Ummm....he kind of died.
tray hova September 25th, 2009 at 04:41 PM
LMAOOOO
swizzy September 25th, 2009 at 04:49 PM
THAT LAST JOKE KILLED MEEEEEE
Sneakrhed September 25th, 2009 at 05:31 PM
LOL damn there isnt even a punchline needed for that last picture. What was that old man thinking marrying a gold digger hoe like Anna Nicole Smith.
D September 25th, 2009 at 07:00 PM
Freaking hilarious! "Ummm….he kind of died." That mess had me rolling! Dude in the old chair looked so disgusting, there's no way they had sex. She probably barfed on him if he tried.
T. Washington September 27th, 2009 at 12:10 AM
Haha. Funniest post. It took me a solid second to get the Ball and chain reference. Thats some damn good high brow humor there.
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