LeBron James should soak his sore loser in an hot epsom salt bath.
According to LeBron James, you can't be a sore loser as long as you're really, really competitive (or if, by nature, you're a winner—who just happened to lose). Got that, kids? Despite what may have looked like poor sportsmanship, His Highness "King James" was just being really competitive when he walked off the court Saturday night without shaking hands after the Orlando Magic beat his Cleveland Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals. He was merely competing with Magic star center Dwight Howard, a buddy with whom he won an Olympic gold medal in Beijing last summer, by not offering him so much as an awkward ass slap in passing. That was just his will to compete showing when he slipped out of Orlando's Amway Arena without giving reporters a post-game interview. And if you buy that, we've got a Kobe vs. LeBron ad campaign to sell you too.
James is one of the NBA's biggest stars, so his juvenility stands out, but he's far from the only grown man in the league to act like a snot-nosed eight-year-old with doo-doo stains on his shorts when things don't go his way. Not that we blame dudes. All that youth league shit about being a good sport is just to keep the child-on-child homicide rates down. And besides, when you've got millions, you can afford to act like you weren't raised right. In honor of King James's snub of the Magic, Complex remembers a few of the NBA's sorest losers over the years...
THE DETROIT PISTONS
• When it became clear that they'd lost the 1991 Eastern Conference Finals, Pistons point guard Isiah Thomas flashed one of his trademark phony smiles and led the Bad Boys right off the court without congratulating Michael Jordan on making it to his first NBA Finals. The game hadn't even ended, but hey, at least they beat the buzzer!
THE NEW YORK KNICKS
• Displeased that Denver Nuggets coach George Karl was continuing to play his starters in the fourth quarter while blowing out the Knicks in New York, coach Isiah Thomas (hello again!) told his players to foul them hard. On a Nugs fast break, bench player Mardy Collins mauled J.R. Smith, leading to a brawl that got ten players ejected. That would have counted as two L's in one night, but the Knicks didn't have any respect to lose in the first place.
CHRIS WEBBER
• Tired of answering questions about why his Sacramento Kings always lose to the Lakers in the playoffs, C-Webb took it to the genitalia, equating the queries to kicking a man in the balls while he's down (or rather when his woman is going down on the next man). That would actually make him a "sores winner."
J.R. SMITH
• Even after losing in a game six blowout to the Lakers in this year's Western Conference Finals, the Nuggets guard refused to acknowledge that L.A. might be the superior team, declaring his Nugs better "pound for pound." He's right, of course. We haven't seen someone take a pounding that professionally since Kobe Tai.
CHRIS BOSH
• In early 2009, after a well-past-his-prime Shaquille O'Neal dropped 45 points on the Toronto Raptors in a 20-point blowout, the Raps' Chris Bosh gave the Diesel credit—for cheating. Perhaps Shaq was guilty of a couple three-second violations, camping out in the lane, but Bosh clearly violated the NBA's rule that nobody with a vagina should play
Darrell June 2nd, 2009 at 05:46 PM
How about these terrible losers, too, since you have started a very selective list: "Kobe Bryant didn't stick around after the game for hugs and handshakes, choosing to walk off the floor rather than congratulate Steve Nash and the Suns." http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/dailydime?page=dailydime-060507 2009 playoffs, Wade: left court without shaking hands after losing to the Hawks 2009 playoffs, Joe Johnson left court without shaking hands after losing to the Cavaliers In other news, no one cared.
Chutney June 3rd, 2009 at 01:09 PM
Bosh complained that Shaq was getting away with 3 seconds violations (which he was). It was a relatively small comment (among others where he owned up for the loss). But an idiotic AP reporter wrote that Bosh called Shaq a cheater in his headline (despite never using that word). From there it spun out of control, with other media sources picking up on it, Shaq responding with a devestating insult, and this article calling Bosh out for something he never said.
Dave June 3rd, 2009 at 03:08 PM
How does this article increase our understanding of the playoffs or of basketball in general? If you have nothing relevant to print you might be better off to skip it and print pictures of the dance team. I noticed nobody's byline is on this article. I wouldn't put my name on this either.