The Sneakerhead Guide to Dating

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Don't push her into the game too quickly if she isn't already a part of it. Let it happen over time and teach her to love sneakers it so that it’s authentic. Otherwise, you will just be bringing yet another hypebeast into the world that won’t be your responsibility after you break up. Teach them wisely.

We hate to break it to you but no – you can’ wear sneakers to everything. It might be a good idea in theory to un-DS your “Columbia” XIs to your girl’s parents’50th anniversary formal but we assure you, 95 percent of the time it’s not cool. And no, don’t bank on that remaining five-percent of the time.

If her birthday or another special occasion (ahem, Valentine’s Day) falls near a big release weekend, make sure it doesn’t impede your ability to grab her gift. If you copped Tiffanys, Kobe 9s, and Red Octobers last weekend, and grab the entire All-Star pack this weekend—it’s not an excuse to show up empty-handed.

Sneakerheads have an incredible ability to memorize release dates and shoe technology. Apply that to your personal life to keep it organized and you’re golden. Never forget another birthday/anniversary/double date again.

A girl camping out for you may be a true testament of her love, but do you really want to be that guy? It’s cool if you two want to go to the release together, but don’t bully her into going—let alone on her own.

Make sure everything she puts on her feet is certified. It discredits you if your girl is rocking fakes, because it means that you allowed it: Either you don’t care, you can’t tell, or you rock fakes, too. Or all of the above.

If she accidentally steps on your kicks, you're not allowed to spaz on her like you would a stranger on the bus (hopefully you don't do this anyway). If she shows a real effort to learn about sneakers, don't embarrass her when she gets it wrong. And if she steps on your kicks, there's always Jason Markk.

You don’t need to grab every release for her, nor do you have to lace her up every birthday, anniversary, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas. If you want to spoil her, by all means, go ahead. But don’t fall into the pattern of just getting her sneakers. Be reminded that sometimes there are other things she’d rather get – perhaps something in a little blue box – we’re not talking about GS-size Tiffany Dunks, either.

If she's not about that life, that’s OK. You can’t expect her to love kicks as much as you do, just like she doesn’t expect you to care about her new limited-edition lipstick. Understand that she might not share your excitement, but a relationship is built off of more than having the same hobby. If you force her to dig sneakers, she’s going to think you’re a dick, and might do this to your sneakers one day.

Although sneakers may have been in your life longer than she has, be careful not to isolate yourself. Granted, some kicks in your collection may be more valuable to you than most people that come into your life - but if you find a good one, don’t make her feel like she has to compete with footwear for your attention.