When you are a celebrity, you can have almost anything. You get to date out of your league. People give you things for free. You can endorse any infomercial invention your heart desires. But, there are some things that celebrity cannot guarantee you. One of those things is a fast marathon time. The stop watch is a cruel mistress and no matter whether you are an '80s hair metal god, a '90s Dorito pinup or a 2000s almost-President of the United Sates, your time is your time. Here is a list of the 20 Worst Celebrity Marathon Times because, well, we may not have fame and fortune, but at least we have our fitness.

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No. 20 – Paul Ryan

Finish Time: 4:1:25

Event: Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth, Minnesota

While the time itself is not that bad, it became bad for Ryan. On a talk radio show, he claimed that he had run a marathon “under three [hours], high twos.” Ryan must not yet have been used to the harsh reality that everything he says will be scrutinized. Runner’s World looked into it and found that he was over an hour off of his estimate. Ryan took back the statement, saying “I thought that was an ordinary time until my brother showed me a 3-hour marathon is you know, very – crazy fast.” But, the damage had been done, and he had already alienated the all-important runner vote.

No. 19 - Oprah Winfrey

Finish Time: 4:29

Event: 1994 Marine Corp Marathon

When you read the rest of the marathon times, particularly those turned in by some beefy actors and slinky models, remember that every single one of them ran a worse marathon than Oprah.

No. 18 Lisa Ling

Finish Time: 4:34

Event: 2002 Boston Marathon

The former The View anchor and current international reporter is perhaps most famous for being vilified after making a thoughtful statement on morning TV. After 9/11, she said, “What happened to the United States was a catastrophic event and the worst terrorist attack in human history. Yet maybe before we seek revenge, we should ask the question – why would anyone want to make such an attack on the U.S.?”

Also, her marathon time was not very good.

No. 17 - Shia LeBeouf

Finish Time: 4:35

Event: 2010 Los Angeles Marathon

Upon directing his first music video, Lebeouf had this to say, “I’m 22 and directing my favorite rapper’s music video. This shit is better than riding unicorns.” Our research indicates that his marathon time is far worse than riding unicorns.

No. 16 - Mike Huckabee 

Finish Time: 4:37:29

Event: 2005 Marine Corp Marathon

When not marathoning, Huckabee is a prolific author. Apparently, the neo-con wrote a book called Do The Right Thing. Someone should have told him the title was already taken. Perhaps someone told him, and much like the time someone told him about evolution, he just pretended it didn’t exist.

No. 15 - Drew Carey 

Finish Time: 4:41:39

Event: Marine Crops Marathon, 2011

Though losing almost a hundred pounds and committing himself to fitness was probably one of the hardest things Carey ever did, we feel like it was probably second to replacing the affable Bob Barker on The Price is Right. We are just happy that the nation’s school children still have something to watch when they are staying home from school faking sick.

No. 14 - David James Elliot 

Finish Time: 4:57

Event: 2010 Boston Marathon

Elliot was the star of Jag, which revolutionized television by taking the old, stale formula of lawyer dramas and combining it with the old, stale formula of military dramas. He revolutionized marathon times by looking like someone who would run a fast marathon, and proceeding to turn in a terrible time.

No. 13 - Al Gore 

Finish Time: 4:58:25

Event: 1997 Marine Corp Marathon

Unlike other races Gore has been a part of, he actually lost this one.

No. 12 – Eddie Izzard 

Finish Time: 5:00:30

Event: Eddie Izzard's 1,000 Mile Race Around the UK

While Izzard’s time itself is not very good, it needs to be viewed in context. Izzard set out on a project to complete 1,000 miles worth of marathons, and he succeeded, completing forty-three marathons in fifty-two days. His route was a complete circuit around the U.K. And, unlike may popular American comedians, he is actually funny.

No. 11 - Ted Koppel 

Finish Time: 5:09:08

Event: 1983 Marine Corps Marathon

“Trust me, the transition from one anchor to another is not that big a deal. Cronkite begat Rather, Chancellor begat Brokaw, Reynolds begat Jennings. And each of them did a pretty fair job in his own right. You've always been very nice to me, so give this new anchor team for Nightline a fair break. If you don't, I promise you the network will just put another comedy show in this time slot. Then you'll be sorry. And that's our report for tonight. I'm Ted Koppel in Washington, and from all of us here at ABC News, good night.” – Ted Koppel, upon leaving Nightline, November 22, 2005

No. 10 - Jared Fogle 

Finish Time: 5:13:28

Event: 2010 New York City Marathon

When children dream of celebrity, do they dream of being famous for successfully completing a sandwich diet? At least he isn’t Snooki. Though, as of press time, Snooki gets laid far more than Jared.

No. 9 - Valerie Bertinelli 

Finish Time: 5:14:37

Event: 2010 Boston  Marathon

You might best remember Bertinelli from when you would visit your grandmother’s house and be forced to watch Touched By an Angel, but we prefer to remember her from the twenty-some odd made for TV movies she has starred in. including one called Night Sins.

No. 8 - Katie Holmes

Finish Time: 5:29

Event: 2007 New York Marathon

We aren’t going to make the customary Tom Cruise joke here. We just aren’t. But, then what do we do, make some obscure Dawson’s Creek reference? That doesn’t sound too great either. Let’s just say she didn’t have a very good marathon time and leave it at that.

No. 7 - Ali Landry 

Finish Time: 5:41:41

Event: 2002 Boston Marathon

Landry turned in an almost identical marathon time as ex-philandering husband Mario Lopez. Yes, Landry’s time is awful and her ex was a cheater, but something tells us, she is okay with the hand fate dealt her.

No. 6 - Mario Lopez 

Finish Time: 5:41

Event: 2011 New York City Marathon

With Mario Lopez, you never know what you are going to get. While his marathon time was much longer than you might expect, his first marriage lasted far shorter than expected after he cheated on his fiancée at this bachelor party. His new wife, Courtney Mazza actually attended the bachelor party this time to keep Mario in line.

No. 5 - Freddie Prinze Jr.

Finish Time: 5:50

Event:2006, Los Angeles Marathon

From 1997 through 2001, this man was a Hollywood God. From his stunning turn in I Know What You Did Last Summer to the pinnacle of his career with the mousy-girl-takes-off-her-glasses-and-let’s-down-her-ponytail-making-you-realize-she-is-actually-hot masterpiece, She’s All That, Prinze controlled the hearts and bedroom walls of tweens everywhere. But, his marathon time reminds us that he is, indeed, mortal.

No. 4 - Meredith Vieira 

Finish Time: 5:59

Event: 2010 New York City Marathon

Viera was an original host of The View, which continues to provide entertainment in dentist office waiting rooms all over the country to this very day. She also hosts the syndicated version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. We suspect she doesn’t wear the same monochromatic shirt and tie combos that Regis used to sport, but we are not going to actually turn on the TV and find out.

No. 3 - David Lee Roth 

Finish Time: 6:04:03,

Event: 2010 New York City Marathon

It’s hard to imagine that a man who led a life described by one reporter as a “non-stop booze and babes party train” would put in a poor marathon time. Though, it doesn’t seem like Roth has too many regrets and who good blame him. “Hot For Teacher” remains an artistic inspiration for many on the Sneaker Report staff.

No. 2 - Suzanne Malveaux 

Finish Time: 6:05:32

Event: 2004 Marine Corp Marathon

Former CNN White House Correspondent and longtime Wolf Blitzer substitute Suzanne Malveaux is certainly a better news anchor than marathon runner. Not a great time, but this isn’t the worst marathon time put in by a news personality, not by a long shot ...

No. 1 - Al Roker

Finish Time: 7:09:00

Event: 2010 New York City Marathon

Stick to the weather, Al. The jolly meteorologist has the dubious distinction of turning in one of the worst marathon times in celebrity marathon history. Equally embarrassing is this video of him trying to report the weather from inside of Hurricane Wilma in 2005.

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