Warning: Chevy Tahoes Can Ruin Your Stunt Game

Warning: Chevy Tahoes Can Ruin Your Stunt Game

Everybody, meet Don Milisav Juan Gonzales Brz. He's just a guy looking for love. And as a member of this in this world that lives on the Internet, he's doing it in the most obviously practical way. Along with an album's worth of photos, he left this message a couple years ago: 

“To all unmarried ones who would like to spend their life by my side and within all the beauties of my home. Please look below at all the magic of my home that I have decorated with taste, perhaps just for YOU. Don Milisav Juan Gonzales Brzi, Contact: +33-#########″

As these photos demonstrate, he was obviously the most eligible bachelor on the planet. Hundreds of pounds of tile, so much fur you could warm an entire nation, gold-plating for miles, and plastic-covered dinner tables just begging to be unwrapped in preparation for extravagant balls that Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl would be jealous of. The enticement was perfectly set up ... save for one detail. Just one little snag that might cause some eyebrow-raising.

One of these photos includes Don (HIS NAME IS DON, WHAT MORE COULD A LADY WANT AND NEED?!) standing next to a Chevy Tahoe or Suburban. Where is the Rolls-Royce, bruh? Where's that Bentley? Where's the private limousine? Where are the four men holding you on a chariot, taking you wherever you please? We don't know, it might just be us, but that just makes the whole situation seem a little suspect. We wouldn't doubt if he's still searching for his lady thanks to that one photo. What a shame. 

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[via GlassTire

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