Your Breed of Small Dog
What It Says: You love your dog more than your mom and imaginary significant other combined.
You buy your dog sweaters and somehow manage to use the pseudo-word "snookums" more than the word "the." Despite taking your dog everywhere, including businesses that explicitly forbid dogs, it's a fat little beast because it's always in a bag or, god forbid, a stroller. Nobody likes you, but you'll always have companionship.