Department Store Mountain Bike

PROS:
• If it breaks, throw it out and buy another one
• Extremely unlikely to get stolen

CONS:
• It will break
• Extremely unlikely to get stolen

Look, 50,000 food delivery guys can’t be wrong. Go to K-Mart, pick out a hundred-dollar bike that looks like it might fit you, and get out there. Removing the cardboard disc that advertises all of its features is optional, as is locking it. Homemade fenders — especially made with duct tape — are a plus.