A Handle of Mess
"Drunk wifey threw up in a cab, and the cabbie was understandably pissed. I felt bad. She was a handle of a mess, so I had him pull over and we got the paper towels out of the trunk and, I volunteered to clean up the trouble spots. I was also drunk.
"He then starts treating me like I'm aunt Jemima on some, 'you missed a spot, clean that up better" ish, at which point we got into an argument. I ended up mushing his face with a vomit-filled paper towel and punching him in his lip. While he tried to get off the ground and start more beef, wifey hailed another cab and we bounced. She was tossing up drunken middle fingers out the window, as we sped away down 9th ave."