The reality is, all longboards are douchey. Riding a longboard is the same as saying "I want to be on a skateboard but I lack the skills and/or I'm not cool enough to ride a normal skateboard." Yes, a normal skateboard. It's about 32" inches tall and 8" wide, it's got a nose and a tail, and on it you can ollie, kickflip, slide, grind, etc.
Most longboards don't do those things. They're big, they have funny shapes, and they're often attached to the feet of some mongo-pushing kook wearing puka shells and flip-flops. (Never, ever, not matter what, wear sandals on a skateboard.) They also have large, soft wheels, a longer wheel-base and if you carry one around by the truck like it's a fucking suitcase, they make you look like a complete asshole.
With that said... Sometimes it's nice to push around on a cruiser. Soft wheels roll smooth, wide trucks are super stable, and the bigger shape is easier to get around on after you've had a few jars with the lads. Here are 10 longboards and cruiser skateboards you can ride without looking like a douchebag.