10 Reasons Not To Ride A Segway
By Jeff Koyen | Dec 15, 2011 | 10:07 am | Permalink
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If you're thinking about buying a Segway, go away right now and never come back. If you already own a Segway, please jump off a cliff immediately. But if, like everyone else, you're simply curious about these futuristic two-wheeled scooters, you are forgiven. But not for long. Whether it's a four-hour "Segway Tour" of Santa Monica or a "Segway Hike" in the Black Hills of South Dakota (these are real things), you should never, ever, ever ride a Segway. Here's why.
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JagLau December 16th, 2011 at 03:20 PM
You know, I read the hell outta Complex and thoroughly enjoy it. I get what you're trying to say for most of the statements here. However, reason #1 irks me a bit. A Segway may never be cool but as someone who has lived with a "part-time" disability I would love to have one. Looking at me, you'd never know anything was wrong. I have Epidermolysis Bullosa which basically means that my skin blisters really easily, especially my feet. At half a mile, I usually have some "hot spots". One mile, a blister or two. Two miles and it becomes difficult to walk with 10 blisters. At five miles, people mistake me for being drunk because of my now disjointed gait due to 15+ blisters with some the size of quarters or larger. Suffice it to say that if I ever get into a prolonged foot chase by a homicidal maniac, I'm fucked... To anyone who would say "suck it up, that's not so bad," try walking with a half dozen marbles in your shoes. I've done my fair share of long walks. Even got my hiking merit badge as a kid by doing 100 miles in a week. The aftermath is never pretty though. In recent years I've ruined trips with my wife, and outings with friends because I couldn't keep up or keep going. So, it goes without saying that if I ever make it to Hawaii, yes, I will be taking that Segway tour. Go ahead and chuckle to yourself if you see me. I'll be the one laughing with delight later since I will still be able to set bare feet in the sand and ocean for the rest of the trip instead of tending to open wounds. I think most other people with mobility related disabilities are fine with giving up a bit of "cool" for the freedom it can give. Just food for thought next time you wonder if walking can be that difficult.
Sakai December 17th, 2011 at 11:21 AM
One reason you should smack yourself for wishing others to die just because they like something you don't. You're dirt bag trash that would rob a house just because they have more presents than you.
Jim McClain December 18th, 2011 at 05:19 AM
Yes, walking really IS that difficult for some. I use a Segway as a mobility aide. I have late stage COPD and couldn't most things normal people do - my own shopping, getting the mail, walking the dog - without some kind of mobility aide. I chose a Segway because I can.
Jim McClain December 18th, 2011 at 05:24 AM
Picture #4 - as far as I'm concerned, no stock vehicle looks bad-ass. A Segway can have cool wheels and tires just like any other vehicle. You can do custom paint, add a fairing or numerous other cool modifications.
Jim McClain December 18th, 2011 at 05:31 AM
Entry #7 - The Segway was introduced in 2001, not 2005. And a tiny bit of research would have shown you Dean Kamen has invented great numbers of important things, often in the medical arena, both before and since the Segway.
VGISoftware December 18th, 2011 at 11:28 AM
God allows miscreants like to inbreed with abandon. What did your great grandpa have to say about horseless carriages?
pegg696 January 23rd, 2012 at 03:09 PM
I read the other article that this D-Bag (Jeff Koyen)put out there. He has given us proof that the web allows anybody out there with a keyboard to prove thier ignorance. He is no expert on anything with wheels, but nobody told him. Yet. Jeffy??? You're no expert on anything with wheels.