Director: Nigel Wingrove
Stars: Sally Tremaine, Moyna Cope, Simon Hill
What five minutes were like: Good lord, this movie about a convent become suddenly sexualized is so horribly bad, it'll make you feel guilty, like after blacking out you've woke to find yourself covered in blood and feces. Truly, you'll be reaching for the closest Disney movie. Watch Sacred Flesh and you'll start donating to charity, calling your grandma just to talk. You'll want to touch yourself, but only in the form of a self-hug, to protect you from the night terrors brought on by this dreck.