Stephen Colbert seems to have hit a new stride from atop his Late Show throne recently, having spent the past few weeks dropping hot laughs like that unearthed Rudy Giuliani motorboating video and the huge middle finger he gave to "corporate lawyers" regarding the other Stephen Colbert. On Monday's Late Show, Colbert spent a rollicking 8 minutes tackling everything from Kanye West's "Fade" visual to Anthony Weiner's, um, wiener.
"Kanye unveiled his new video 'Fade,' featuring singer and actor Teyana Taylor sweatily dancing around a gym," Colbert told his audience. "I really hope she knows it's polite to wipe that equipment down before the next person uses it. It's just polite. After 4 minutes of Teyana dancing, it ends with the image of naked Teyana in prosthetic cat-face surrounded by sheep. To see the whole video, you have to have a Tidal subscription or eat peyote and fall asleep watching Thundercats." Good idea, Stephen. I think I'll text my peyote connect right now even though I'm also a proud Tidal subscriber.
The usual August news slowdown was fully halted recently thanks to the reemergence of Anthony Weiner, whose latest sexting scandal gave Stephen Colbert the unique opportunity of delivering a rapid-fire collection of penis puns on Monday's Late Show. Interestingly enough, the former Congressman was actually a guest on Colbert's show just weeks before the latest scandal erupted.
"Fortunately, something popped up: Anthony Weiner," Colbert said of the traditional August news drought. "I just want to extend my thanks to him for rising to the occasion with this truly rock solid story." Adding that he feels for Huma Abedin, who recently announced her separation from Weiner, Colbert continued his onslaught of Weiner jokes.
"You know what they say: fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times? Dammit Anthony, just keep it in your pants until after the election!" Colbert said. Dude then reminded everyone of Weiner's previous Late Show appearance with a quick clip, masterfully managing to make it vaguely penis-related.
Well done, everyone. May the dick jokes outlast us all.
