Though John Oliver finally delivered his long-awaited evisceration of "bullshit artist" Donald Trump back in February, one crucial component of Trump's rise to political prominence remained in desperate need of equal evisceration: his ridiculous plans for a wall along the border of Mexico. On Sunday's Last Week Tonight, Oliver delivered exactly that with an 18-minute breakdown of just how impossible (and ridiculous) Trump's plan really is.
"The Congressional Budget Office estimates that wall maintenance costs will exceed the initial construction costs within seven years," Oliver patiently explained. "So it’s a big, dumb thing that only gets more expensive over time. It’s like getting a pet walrus. You think it’s stupid now? Wait until you learn what a bucket of sea cucumbers costs. You're not prepared for that!" As for the "sea cucumbers" of Trump's metaphorical racist walrus, Oliver’s estimation (using the lowest estimated wall height of 35 feet) places the cost of just building the damn thing at a staggering $25 billion. Sounds a bit different than Trump's initial claims of a $4 billion construction process, yeah?
Noting that the vast majority of undocumented immigrants are "less—not more—crime-prone than their native-born counterparts," Oliver suggested Trump make a money-wasting promise that’s way more realistic: a waffle iron. "These beauties retail at $75 a piece, so we’d still have nearly $1 billion left over," Oliver estimated. "This waffle iron plan will cost less, will do nearly as much to keep out immigrants and drugs, and it won’t harm our relationship with our third largest trading partner."
Thank you for continuing to make Donald Drumpf again, John Oliver. The nation impatiently awaits your next evisceration.