House of Cards, for the uninitiated, is a painfully hyperbolic drama about two terrible people so thirsty for power that they’ll sacrifice any and everything to keep it in their well-manicured grasp. Now in its fourth season, Frank and Claire Underwood (played by rumored spank fetishist Kevin Spacey and confirmed earth-dwelling angel Robin Wright) have staked their presence in the White House, just as the full weight of their life’s worth of calculated, injurious fuck shit is beginning to catch up to them.
For three seasons, we watched the couple engage in multiple extramarital affairs, murder for power (like a lot), and compromise their own happiness—mostly Claire though, and that’s important here—to secure their place in the Oval Office. And they did! And then Frank took a piss on his dead father’s grave! This show is part-political satire and part-savage as hell. But now that the pair have secured their influence (ahem, over the United States of America), they’re more miserable than ever. Murder, it seems, is not the key to a long and fulfilling relationship, even between two people whose sole purpose is to show pony the successes of each other.
Who’s to know what’ll happen with these two come Season 4, but before we dive headlong into a weekend of forgoing sleeping and showering in the name of a proper Netflix bender, let’s reflect on the casualties of people and things that put the Underwoods where they are now. The savagery is so strong with these two. (Oh also, SPOILER ALERTS, obviously.)