Games, by their very design, are fun. In case you somehow missed the memo, American politics have become a thrilling game of consistent self-destruction and general anti-intellectual mayhem since the return of storied Nazi tweeter Donald Trump. However, though the total estimated number of serious Republican presidential candidates stands at around 400 or something, some guy named Ted Cruz is out here trying to rid the GOP field of any Trumpisms by essentially being a slightly less ridiculous version of the esteemed reality TV star.

On the verge of certain apocalypse, Republicans (Do they exist? Where do they live, exactly?) are understandably losing their collective mind about the impending doom of Iowa and the subsequent collapse of their own party's infrastructure. Somewhere on the sidelines of this ridiculousness stands former presidential candidate and current Late Show boss Stephen Colbert, always happy to offer some much-needed perspective on the horrors of American politics, an endless game that may or may not end with this abysmal two-headed beast:

CBS

Shot? Poisoned? What's the difference? Why not make it a double, yeah? If that hits you right in the brain and makes you think "Wow, the planet really is doomed," then: a.) you're totally right and b.) take some small comfort in knowing that an aged Trump might resemble a decaying bowl of poisoned mashed potatoes:

CBS

*screams internally*