When Andy Samberg recreated that brilliant closing scene from Mad Men's series finale at the Emmys last week, everyone in the world laughed. However, that laughter quickly gave way to John Boehner levels of uncontrollable crying fits, as it only reminded Don Draper devotees that Mad Men is no longer here to make traditional cable television actually worth the money. Entering a well-earned victory lap after finally nabbing an Emmy for his god-level portrayal of America's favorite advertising genius, Jon Hamm will briefly put a pause to those tears by reviving Don Draper in the least Don Draper way imaginable: Nickelodeon.
Hamm will star as "charismatic head ad executive" Don Grouper in a 2016 episode of the philosophical drama SpongeBob SquarePants, according to Variety. Grouper, described by Nickelodeon executives as a guy with a "sharp mind and devastating charm," will reportedly be popping in to give some advice to SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs regarding the possible launch of a line of frozen Krabby Patties. Don Grouper will thankfully maintain Don Draper's attention to well-dressed detail, as evidenced by this character sketch:
Don Grouper will presumably not inherit Draper's penchant for chain smoking and day drinking, though a drunk SpongeBob is something many Americans would likely pay a very great deal of money to see. As this special episode isn't expected to air until at least 2016, we can all now return to our permanent state of post-Mad Men mourning.