If viewers assumed that Amy Schumer's recent admission to Stephen Colbert on Friday's Late Show that she once rented out Jake Gyllenhaal's apartment and drunkenly consumed his semi-frozen cake would simply evaporate before receiving a proper retort, then they simply weren't aware of Gyllenhaal's obvious penchant for televised revenge.

As we are in the business of fair and balanced cake reporting, we do recommend you revisit Schumer's admission below:

The takeaway lesson? Don't fuck with Jake Gyllenhaal's semi-frozen cake when you're temporarily residing in his apartment unless you're prepared for the totally mild and definitely entertaining consequences. This brief cake scandal also highlights the potential genius of a regular Late Show segment wherein guests drunkenly consume cake while living in another guest's apartment, so go ahead and make that happen, Stephen.