Fellow Passenger Livetweets Couple's Messy Airplane Breakup, Complete With Hitchcockian Surprise Ending

Thankfully, the couple's in-flight Bloody Mary game is downright untouchable.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Unless bathing in the comforts of an upper echelon salary, flying can be a bit of a chore. In fact, there's an entire online community dedicated to exposing the most chore-synonymous passengers from all over the globe. However, sometimes that task of forced human interaction can warrant some unexpected gold, as was the case for Kelly Keegs while waiting to leave Raleigh-Durham International Airport on Sunday.

The day began innocently enough, with Keegs making a harmless and relatively inconsequential joke at the expense of old people:

Old people are always cold pic.twitter.com/lrpXEe1C1C

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 23, 2015

Little did she know, she was about to be gifted with an in-flight breakup so gloriously ridiculous that to not livetweet it would have been a downright reckless decision. Speaking to Barstool Sports after her #PlaneBreakup tweets swiftly went viral, Keegs said she initially thought little of the couple, however immediately annoying they may have been. "The two were SO drunk," Keegs said in an e-mail, "[then] came on the plane and I just thought they were loud and annoying at first, but then she SHRIEKED and started crying loud enough to capture the attention of everyone in the front of the plane."

And that, dear friends, is where this delightful melodrama begins:

This guy on the plane just broke up w his girlfriend and she's SOBBING pic.twitter.com/IW9QVYxXdB

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 23, 2015

Guy: "is this really a surprise? Are you seriously surprised at this information?"

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Girl: "Great. JUST GREAT. I'm so glad I paid 40 extra dollars to be on this fucking flight with you"

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Guy: I don't care. Girl: IM GLAD YOU DONT CARE

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Girl: "ITS JUST SO MEAN. DO I DESERVE THIS? WHY ARE TOU BRINGING THIS UP"

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

"I don't want to be this girl. I don't want to be her. I want to be my best for you and YOU WONT LET ME"

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Girl: "you don't even understand why I'm FUCKING SAD. YOU HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME"

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Guy: "You need to calm down" Girl: "To me I just really thought, you know, this was going to go somewhere"

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Very stoic few minutes pic.twitter.com/eyt4YDlEj3

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

"I'm going to ask Charlotte. I'm going to ask her the minute we get home and we'll see if your STORIES MATCH" (Omg scandal who's Charlotte?)

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Guy: "I can't discuss this anymore." Girl: "so I'm not worth your time????"

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

What the fuck? Now they're making out. I'm not kidding

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

We took off, they immediately ordered SIX vodkas and Bloody Mary mix for the 50 minute flight and chugged them in silence between makeouts

— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015

Of course, the real star in all of this is the mysterious "Charlotte," surely reveling in the sudden fame-by-association, right?

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